The Start of a New Life

So the new year is coming and I've never NEVER done new years resolutions. I've always thought they were cheesy. But my life has been changing in so many ways recently and it conveniently matches up with the new years so here goes my first resolution ever.

A little back story is probably needed to understand why this is a whole new life for me. My whole life I've always been overweight. Not by a ton, but let's say size 14-16 has been my lifestyle since high school, maybe even middle school. It's always been tough because I was a hard core dancer up until college. Now compare 14-16 to size 0 and you get the idea. I've learned how to dress myself really well, hide my pudge, accentuate my assets but it's always been there. Then there are the beautiful friends you have to stand next to and or bar hop with. Well needless to say it gets discouraging never being asked out, or being told by some guy "your friend is so beautiful". Yes she is but so am I!

Then I met this amazing guy. It's definitely divine providence that we met when we did. Our first picture together is when we were five in the church nativity! I mean really?! And we didn't officially meet until after sophomore year of college. Beautiful romance ensues and my prince charming sweeps me off my feet and marries me after graduation on May 21, 2010.

Well that was a year and a half ago and we're living our happliy ever after but there's a reason they never write about happily ever after in the fairytales; it's WAY harder after the wedding.

As we struggled through the first year of marriage Ryan and I both found that we needed to be stronger in confidence in ourselves. I went through some bad depression last year getting sick all the time and just feeling inadequate. I went straight into my masters as a Music Theatre/Opera performance major and was getting rejected like crazy. And it's always the same excuse "well your a better singer but your acting is ok and she'll look better on stage playing opposite this handsome guy". Well crap, I thought I was supposed to get jobs based on talent not looks, but unfortunately being on stage is what makes me really happy. Can't explain it, there's no other feeling like it.

This summer my parents came to see me at summer stock. Now my parents have also always been obsessed with my weight because they knew it wasn't healthy and they were overweight themselves. Last year while I was busy getting sick my parents were going to a diet doctor to over see fast weight loss. My dad went from over 200 to 155 and my mom went from 175 to 125. Unbelievable! And it only took them a little over two months! They were happier, more energetic, and taken off of all drugs for different ailments that were now cured by the weight-loss and rebalance of hormones.
So this summer my parents came and saw me perform in the background and new that I had not gotten any happier leaving school and living on the most gorgeous lake. My mom approached me gently and asked if I would like to go to the doctor they went to. They would help me pay for half the payments!

I'm exactly 61 days into the diet and I feel like a different person. I still haven't gotten any roles at school and sometimes feel like it's a waste of my money but it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. My health problems are quickly dwindling, and it's just so much easier to move around, it's like you never realize how much that extra weight is weighing you down. The compliments from friends and family are endless and something that I'm not especially accustomed to. Dancing is kind of interesting because as I've been dieting I've been hard muscle training, not like crazy, but still, I'm having a hard time getting my balance back. It's like dancing with a whole new body! I've never felt so free! And I'm not even done! I'm going to have the dancer body this little girl has dreamed of for soooooo long! And not I don't mean size 0, I think I'll be down to between 4-6.

So along with the diet has come this LOVE of vegetables (cuz all I eat is vegetables and protein) and a new found desire to cook and create! I'm starting this blog so that I can chronicle my adventures! I have so many ideas, cooking, baking, cleaning, organizing, crafting, decorating, you name it I want to do it. I'm graduating with my masters in musical theatre in may and then I have no idea what I'm going to do. Obviously audition for everything, but for the first time I feel like theatre is not the only thing I could love doing. The world is my wilderness and I'm ready to explore it.

As of October 27, 2011 my adventure has already begun!